Well, July has now made an appearance and Minot is still battling the flood waters. This is going to be a very long and hard battle!! Today, I was able to cross the Broadway bridge leaving North Minot heading South. Mind you, this is the first time in over a week I have been on this bridge. Something that I used to take for granted.. "just crossing the bridge" no big deal!! This bridge overlooks the river and is just one street from my house. The dike reaches the top of the bridge, I have never seem anything like it EVER!! However, on the other side of that dike off of Broadway.. lies another world, a world of complete devastation!! When I crossed that bridge, it hit me like a ton of bricks, my life as I knew it will NEVER be the same!! The beautiful neighborhood where children ride their bikes, couples stroll while holding hands and laughing, a mother walking with a child in a stroller or young adults walking their dogs. Hearing the neighbors with the grandkids in the backyard playing and splashing in the pool. The smell of a great BBQ and the sound of music drifting through the air. Folks mowing the lawn and friends talking across the fence, sharing a funny story!! The lilac trees blooming and the sweet perfume of those heavenly flowers!! Watching a child walking home from Dairy Queen and seeing the ice cream dripping down their hands and chins and trying not to make a mess!! Minot is called "The Magic City".. and for years, I like everyone else has probably taken it for granted!!
I have said these words a million times over the last week.. "if only"... If only I had done this or that. If only I had moved everything out of my house, If only I had known that the damn (my favorite word lately sorry) water was going to be as deep as it was.. If only..... then, I was told by a very close friend last night.. "If only Trish.. you wouldn't beat yourself up"!! He was absolutely right.. I have to say.. I did all I could do and I just hope that it was enough!! I hope that I didn't lie to my daughter Erika when I said, "All of your belongings are safe baby.. don't worry"!! Again.. the waiting is driving me nuts!! Slow torture!!
As I write this.. I keep thinking.. it's not ALL about you Trish.. there are 11,000 other people that are displaced, there are over 4000 homes just like mine.. flooded.. there will be at least 850 homes demolished due to the extreme amount of water in the house, the city and FEMA will deem the houses unsafe and uninhabitable. I am not sure how I feel about this, if the city said to me, we're gonna pay you a certain amount of money for your house, by the time the mortgage is paid.. there may only be a few thousand left.. that doesn't really give me anything does it.. except to get out from under the payment and start over!! I don't care about the money.. I just want my home back!! I want to be able to go outside and look at my yard and enjoy my flowers. I want to feel safe and secure and at the end of the day, go upstairs and sleep in my bed!! I am not sure that I will ever feel safe again!! I have many things to "ponder".. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? How do I handle this or that? My answer.. I guess is.. take one day at a time.. which is hard to do. SO.. I am taking one hour at a time.. and when that is too hard.. I'll take one minute at a time. This is the best I can do and I'll try to remember to stay focused, stay calm and BREATHE!! Great advice from a great guy!!
So, I say again to my friends in Minot, and the surrounding areas, We're tough North Dakotans, stay strong!! And to my Mississippi friends and family, thanks for keeping me strong with your comforting words via phone calls, texts, Facebook, and now this blog!! Thanks for reading as I ramble on and on.. after all, this is Trish's Therapy!! I love you all!!
As Always~
Trish
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