Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Decisions Have Been Made~ Life Goes on!!

Well.. it has been a VERY long time since I have updated this blog.  Many things have happened, some good, some bad. Where do I start? I guess, I will say that I have had about four or five really good nights sleep since June 22 when all of this flooding began.  I am still not sleeping, as I write this it is exactly 2:49 am on September 20, 2011.  I probably should have posted before now, but words did not come easy for me at one point. I was beyond doing anything, not coping at work, at home, with friends, with my band. I just shut completely down and for several days I was so sick, I couldn't leave my bed.. I didn't sleep.. but I couldn't get out of bed.  Everything was about as bad as it could get.  I have never felt so lost, alone, (even though I had/have  great support  from family and friends). Face it, I was depressed,  who wouldn't be after the HELL we had all been through!! I told one of my friends"this is about as low as I can get, unless I can die." I know.. it sounds pathetic.. but this is where I was.. I know.. I probably shouldn't tell everything, there are things that were so bad.. I have only told a select few people, because it's just too painful to discuss. My Dad used to say, "This too shall pass sister." I had to keep telling myself this and I wished every day that my Daddy was still alive  so I could sit on his lap and he would make all the bad things go away.  But, even if Dad was still living, this was not something he could make go away.

In my last post, I explained about how the city told me they were going to red flag my house and deemed it unsafe to go in to. They never did place that red tape.. which was fine for me.. because my sister Paula came up, ( I wanted her to be able to see this "shell" that I used to call home), after I advised her not to, Paula still wanted to come and support me.. to be here for me. She will never know how grateful I was and how much I truly needed her to be here.  While Paula was here, she snapped a picture of me when I didn't know she was taking one.. My neighbor Cindy was also in this picture.. they say a picture can tell a story. When Paula sent this to me.. I would have to agree, the expression on my face and Cindy's face tell it all.. No need for words here.  We had the same look on our faces that 12,000 other people in Minot had and still have.

As the days went on, I could feel myself sliding into a complete funk. Trish Pitts is always a happy person, usually a very positive person, a person who sees the cup as half full not half empty. I simply did not see this person any longer. I hated to look in the mirror, all I saw was dark circles under my eyes, lines of worry etched across my face and seeing an older face emerging, it was also lovingly pointed out to me that the stress was making me old. It was true!!  I hated what I saw, what I felt like, I was an emotional wreck and I knew I had to do something FAST!!  So I picked up the phone and called my sister in Atlanta, my dear friend in Asheville, my sister, my mom and a dear friend in Mississippi, asked what their schedules were and then called Delta Airlines. I was getting out of Minot and for 16 days I left it all behind.  I flew to Atlanta first and was able to visit with my sister Lynn and her partner Shari. I love these guys so much and they took care of me and made me laugh and I actually was able to sleep that first night, with a little bit of help from an over the counter sleep aide.  After several days I moved on to Asheville. I spent almost a week with my friend of 29 years Melanie. One day after I arrived, we hit the road for a crazy road trip.. we covered six states in a matter of five days. It was unbelievable.. this girl had me laughing so hard and we ate enough chocolate to make me gain ten pounds.. it was THE best trip I have ever taken in my life.. but exhausting at the same time. No time to think. Busy Busy Busy!! Lots of great memories were made that week! Then I moved on to Mississippi. I had some quiet relaxing  time with my sister Paula and my mother,  A few days later, I was with my best friend of 40 years Deidra. We never stopped laughing, it seemed like all we did again, was eat.. and then the day that we stayed in our P J's until 2pm. We had lunch with our beautiful friend of 40 years,  Fawn and the "Fab Three" were together again!! I needed this so much and to be able to sit at the table and catch up with these two wonderful women whom I have known for 40 years was definitely a high light of my trip!! Much too soon, I had to leave to come back "home."

My plane arrived in Minot around 6:45 pm. I promised I would get to the club, help set up and get a sound check for our show on September 9 and 10.  After being up for almost 17 hours, I was exhausted and finally ready to drive to Amy's house in Surrey around 10:30 pm. Then reality set back in, as I drove down Burdick Expressway, the flooded houses, the lack of street lights, the zoo with no animals, and of course debris EVERY where!!  I cried all the way to Surrey. Knowing that the decision I made right before I left on my trip was the RIGHT decision for me.

The decision that was made is simply this.. it's time to move away. I have to get the hell out of Minot for my own sanity. I was able to get on a waiting list for the apartment that I wanted in Bismarck. The apartment manager called while I was in Philly and said they had a brand new apartment with my name on it.  My wonderful friend Susan took care of all of the details for me and a deposit was made a day or so later. I completely trusted her to make the right decision for me and she really did a great job!! Very excited to be able to live here. I think it's beautiful and will make a great home for me and Erika when she gets back from Utah. 

I have made an announcement that I would be quitting my band (this was a huge  and painful decision for me) as I feel that our band has never been better. But I guess it's better to go out while your on top.. and I definitely feel like DREAMER is as close to the top as ever right now.. I have had this band for 19 years. I will miss it, I will miss my guys desperately.. a few of the guys are like brothers to me!! Our last show will be November 4 and 5. This weekend will be very difficult for all of us! BUT.. I know in my heart it's time to start something new.  I am NOT done.. I am hoping to be able to put a band together and get on the road a little bit!! Playing music/ singing is my life.. without it, there's no way I could EVER be happy!! So, I am gonna jump on this right away. You haven't heard the last from me.. not yet any how!!

I haven't found a job yet in Bismarck, to be blunt, after not having a home for so long.. finding a place was my first priority. Don't ever take your home for granted, I never knew how much I really liked being home, having a place to come home to every night. Until you don't have it, you don't really realize how important it is.  So, that was the first thing I had to do.. for me and for Erika!  I can find a job there.. I am not worried, Bismarck is a wonderful city and I think we'll be very happy there.

SO... to recap.. it was a terrible thing to go through, I would never want anyone else to go through the  hell that I , along with 11,999 other people have gone through. But.. I didn't die, when I thought I most certainly would  from stress.  My life will go on in Bismarck, North Dakota. What will life bring me? I am not really sure, but I am excited to see what lies ahead for me and for my beautiful daughter Erika, because, if we can get through this.. we can endure anything!!

In closing, I stated that I would end this blog when the flood was over. The flood IS over for me.. pretty much..  of course, there are loose ends that need to be tied up, but hey.. I am not gonna stress over it! It is what it is!! I am not a flood victim any longer.. I am a flood SURVIVOR and damn proud of it!!

To ALL of the people that have sent me cards, texts, messages on Face Book, gifts, hugs, kisses, who have called me at 3:00 am when they saw me on Face book, whom I have called at 3:00 am when I couldn't sleep and could only cry. THANK YOU!! There are too many folks to mention and I don't want to forget anyone!! YOU know who you are!!  I love you all  so much!!

Thank you for taking the time to read this FINAL blog!  My life is now starting over.. a NEW life.. scary but exciting at the same time. If you're ever in Bismarck, ND look me up!! I'm not going any where!!

As Always ~

Trish

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Life After The Flood and Many Decisions To Be Made ~

I haven't had a chance to write much lately. Life in Minot, ND has been crazy to say the least. Thank you  dear friends and family for being there  with words of encouragement, love and understanding.  One day I 'm sure I will look back at this situation and realize that, I'm still here and I didn't die of the heart break and the worry or stress. Remember... I said one day.. right now.. there are days when I feel like I can surely lay down and just close my eyes and never take another breath. I have heard this from others as well. And before you call the mental hospital to come and get me.. I have not lost it, it's just a normal feeling one gets when one is so over whelmed and not sure of what each new day will bring. Is the day going to be a positive experience or am I going to sit down on the front steps and sob.

The last  few days have NOT been positive. As a matter of fact Wednesday and Thursday were so negative, I thought surely, this would be the end of me!  Wednesday, is not something that I want to talk about.. this was simply a personal problem with a person that I love more than anything and  I was just a little disappointed with something. I will say.. this definitely added to my stress, something I really didn't need at this particular moment. But, I am over it and will go forward.

 Thursday, I received a call from SBA, the inspector was in town and wanted to see me immediately to get an inspection on the house. This was at 10:39 am and he wanted to meet at 11 am. I met him at the house and while he was there the Health and City inspectors came by. They were checking all of the basements in the area and the foundations. I knew I had problems in the basement, but the first inspector said it would be fine. It is NOT fine..The inspector told me that my basement is buckling, and cracking.. they were going to red tape it. I knew if they red taped it.. Nobody was gonna be allowed in the house and I still had things to get out.

I talked to them and asked that they give me until  that night to finish packing and moving the rest of my belongings. They agreed. I also advised them that I have an appointment with a Contractor /engineer Friday @12:30 and wanted to get a second opinion.  ( by the way SO nice that the engineer/contractor NEVER showed up for our appointment). The city didn't red tape it that day. I knew that my house looked bad, but I didn't know that it was THIS bad!!  I went back to work very upset. Poor Jarrod , (my boss) has seen me cry so much over this situation. I should just walk a round with a box of tissues.  I sat in his office and told him what was going on and he said.. " That's it.. we're getting your stuff out of there today, we're not waiting another minute."

Jarrod and I finished some paper work, changed clothes and took off to the house. We worked hard and got the rest of the furniture out of the house. Not easy, that furniture was a lot heavier than I thought it would be.  We got it all loaded and started the drive to the farm in Berthold. Of course, it's North Dakota and you can see a storm coming from ten miles away. We could barely see as we were driving, we ran straight into the storm. I just thought.. PLEASE can't  I just get a break here!!  How much more can a person take?! Drenched  and cold, with the heat running in my car on a July day, I headed back to town after everything was unloaded, thankful for Jarrods help.

Later that night my friend Scott came over and we were able to get the rest of the little stuff packed into my car. Then, bless his heart, Scott started tearing out my 100 year old beveled windows that are so pretty. It may sound weird.. but I loved those windows, I didn't want these windows be destroyed.  Scott knew how much they meant to me. After losing so much.. I feel like I had to save SOMETHING!!   So.. poor Scott, was knocking out part of the wall on the staircase to get the window out,  when a piece of  the wall flew up and hit him. He is now sporting a very nice black eye. I tried to get him to wear eye goggles, but it was hot in the house and he was sweating, the eye goggles were fogging up, and then he was hit with this piece of wood. I felt terrible!!  But thanks to Scott.. my beautiful windows were saved and for that I am very grateful.  He  and his beautiful wife Kacie are going to be building a new home soon. I will be there on moving day to help as much as possible!!  I can never thank them both enough for all they have done for me!! I am lucky to have such great friends!! By the way, the request for a true southern meal, is coming up for you guys, it will be my pleasure!

I would have to say that I have thought of nothing, other than this damn flood for the last month. It's hard to concentrate at work, at home, and sometimes to even hold a  simple conversation with another person, as my mind wanders. Before we have any wise comments.. No I am not THAT old yet!  LOL~  However, most of the time I feel like I am in a fog, trying to find my way out and I can never quite get to where I need to go.  Life after a disaster is hell on earth, just ask any of the flood victims here in Minot. There are so many things to think about, so many decisions have to be made. You often question your self, "Am I doing the right thing or not." Should I do this or that? How do I do this?  Where do I go from here?   Most importantly, how is my child going to be able to stand this situation? Remember, Erika is down in the deep south with her dad for the summer.  She hasn't seen anything that has happened. I am not looking forward to this day. This is going to be devastating for her, when she sees it for the first time, like it has been for all of us

So back to the question, Where do I go from here? If you know me at all, you know that I HAVE to have a plan. I like to think of myself as being fairly organized. I like to have a schedule, I like to know what I am doing as far in advance as possible.  When a disaster hits like this, it's hard to know WHAT you should do, WHERE to go, and WHEN to go. I have a few plans in place. Hopefully , with a little bit of planning, things will work out for me one way or another. Either plan would be great! BUT.. it will be  different. It's going to involve a move is all I can tell you at this time, but.. NOT to Mississippi!!  I have a few weeks to think about it seriously and by August 15, I should have an answer. This is so VERY  scary, yet exciting for me. I am just hoping that I make the RIGHT decision for all of us.

So.. this is my life for NOW!! Not much of a life, but... never the less MY life... it really stinks. But as a dear friend said to me tonight on the phone.. "Maybe this is God's plan for you, reach out and take it,   don't turn away, make the best of it because you may never get another chance to do this." I will remember those words, thank you for that!!

I feel so incredibly loved at such an awful time in my life. My family and friends have been there through this entire tragic situation. Some of my dear friends are going through this very same thing. For those of you reading this from the Minot and surrounding area, those that have been affected by this evil, horrible flood, I simply have just this to say, " Stay strong, we'll get through this together." For all my friends around the world, thank you for your  words of encouragement when I feel like I can't continue another day. It means everything to me, you will never know JUST how much!  This blog isn't over by any means, my therapy continues.. thanks for reading!

As Always~

Trish

Saturday, July 23, 2011

It Will Never Be The Same Again~

I was able to get into the house Tuesday night. You can prepare yourself as much as you want, but when you walk into your home for the first time, nothing prepares you for this. I wish I could say, that it was better than I had thought it would be, but it's not. There is an upside to this thing,  but there are far more down sides of this disaster.

Let me see if I can describe this to you. Pictures were taken and placed on Facebook, those pictures can't begin to show you the devastation that we all see at our homes. The filth, the smell, oh my God the smell is nothing like I have ever smelled before. I have a basement with sewage back up and river water in it, mostly sewage. There is so much of it.. you can only imagine what my house smells like. There is mold and mildew every where, masks HAVE to be worn in the house, at all times. Black mold as we all know is very dangerous. The wood floors in the dining, living room and in the kitchen have buckled and there are these large mounds just sticking up in the middle of the floor. The carpeting is full of mud and river water, squishing under your feet as you walk. The plaster is coming off the walls. The stair case is busted and cracked  beyond repair. Even if I could repair this, the mold that has gotten inside the  banister and would not be good to have in the house any longer.  It is so upsetting to see this 101 year old banister destroyed.  It was beautiful, and had a lot of charm. 

I was amazed at just how much water was in my house. I knew there would be a lot, but 7 1/2 feet on the main floor is just crazy. You can see the water lines on the outside as well as the inside of my house. There are 11 stairs going up to the second floor, the water went up those 11 stairs and stopped at the first landing. Then there are six more stairs and you're on the second floor of the house.  When we  started up those stairs, I was really apprehensive about what I was going to see, as most of my belongings were on that floor. So, I couldn't believe it when I reached the second floor and nothing was touched, there was NO mold or mildew, the top floor actually smelled good, (compared to the lower floors) it smelled like my house always smelled, but like a it had been closed up for 32 days. I was amazed and thrilled that my belongings had been saved. This is what I had been wishing and hoping for!!

I wish I could say that the garage loft with the rest of my furniture did as well as the second floor. Unfortunately, I can't, there were a few antiques  that we thought would make it, an entertainment center, dining room chairs, Erika's dresser, a coffee table,  wicker patio chairs, and other miscellaneous things that I wanted saved that we have lost. The water levels in the garage were  about 12 1/2 feet high. The furniture didn't stand a chance. I was totally devastated by this, as these were our favorite things. I never imagined that the water would ever reach this level. But this flood has been nothing like Minot has ever seen  before.

So, everyone keeps asking me, "what are you going to do?" and I keep saying, " I have no idea." And I don't. Do I rebuild the house and make it even better?, Do I say screw it and walk away? Just not sure yet. I am trying to wrap my head around what has happened and I still can't.  So, I am taking it one day at a time. My first objective was to get air flow into the house, well, when wood has gotten wet what does it do? It swells, none of the windows would open and some had been painted shut by the previous owners. So, it was window breaking time. I have smashed several windows to get a good  cross air flow through out the house. After the first window, it got a little easier to do. Those windows will all have to be replaced any how. My second objective was to get my furniture out of the house. I have been able to get most everything out that matters, I still have a bed room set in the spare bedroom that I can't decide if I want to keep or trash, I have had it forever. I will decide later today about this.  So, part two of my plan has  pretty much been carried out!!

Part three is the clean up, the first thing that has to be done is pumping the basement, the second is to get rid of the carpet. All carpets will be ripped out, even the upstairs carpets, it all has to go. The walls have to be sprayed with bleach water , everything has to be sprayed with bleach and water to combat the mold. After that, we start tearing out walls and cabinets, all fixtures. Everything has to come down to the bare studs. This is going to be the hard part. 

I have a plan, at least that is something. But this house can never, will never be the same again. Sure, I can probably make it better, but do I want to do this? I may not have a choice, there is no other housing in Minot, no apartments to live in. There is nothing available. Houses that are going on the market are sold the same day. This is crazy!!  The only other thing to do is to move to a different city. Now, before my friends in Mississippi get excited, I have definitely decided that we will NOT be moving back to the Magnolia State. North Dakota is my home, I have been here exactly half of my life. I am not allowing a flood to run me out. I have people that I truly love here, I can't leave them, I don't want to leave. If I do move, it will be to Bismarck or maybe a different town. Maybe even Tennessee..you never know! That is not something I can even think about right now.

It's time to get up and head to the house. FEMA will be there this morning for an inspection. and there is lots to do!! This is going to take a very long time and is going to be very difficult. BUT I will make it, I simply have no other choice.

 If you need a good cry, drop by and see me at the house, I am always up for  more tears. At any given moment you will see me break down and then five minutes later I am okay again! This is my life right now, and I really hate it!! Thank you for taking the time to read.

As Always ~

Trish

 

Monday, July 18, 2011

The House that Built my daughters

I would like to say, thank you for reading my blog. I seriously never expected this many folks to send me private messages, letting me know that they have been reading and keeping up with this  incredibly painful, upsetting time in my life, and the lives of 11,000 other residents of Minot. Thank you all for your support, best wishes, prayers, text messages, FaceBook messages, phone calls, emails, cards and letters!! You will never know how much I appreciate ALL of it!!

Unfortunately, the reason I started this blog was to help me deal with this horrible "thing" (called a flood) in my own life!! While most people have been amazing, helping one another,  and taking the time to assist their neighbors, and to even help perfect strangers, there are some folks who should just go AWAY, or maybe just shut up!! I know people mean well, I really do appreciate that!! BUT don't tell me how to feel when I don't even know how I'm feeling. I haven't been in or seen my house in 30 days... yes... thirty days!!   Don't tell me WHO to hire to "fix" my house when you don't even know (nor do I) if my house is even able to be fixed.  Don't tell me to have a more positive attitude because you are friends with Minot's finest Mayor,  and that this is only a part time job for him.. he is really a banker.  WELL~ maybe, just maybe  he should stick to banking then!!  Because .. I 'm mad as hell, as many others are!!    And while I may only be one vote.. I  do have a voice right HERE, and besides, I AM a tax payer.. that should count for something!!! AND~ don't tell me that I  shouldn't have a "negative" attitude when you have no idea what I am going through!!  I know my attitude sucks sometimes.. but that's okay!!

The folks in Minot are going through a horrible time right now.  I asked a friend tonight as we were trying  so hard to find a way to my house and kept getting stopped by all the water, "Did you ever think you would see this kind of destruction in our beautiful town"? He replied simply.. "No, never". Nothing else needed to be said!  I saw friends tonight working on their houses, ripping out and piling all the debris on the curb for the garbage men to pick up!! You may think this is simply trash being placed on the curb, but it's not, this is their  private belongings, memories of a home. It's almost as IF you should look away. This is personal, this was their life!!  I saw a lady who was obviously seeing her home for the first time today. She had her face in her hands and was sobbing. I so wanted to stop my car and place my arms around her. But, this was a private moment. I didn't want to intrude, just like I don't others to intrude  when I see my house for the first time, I feel like I need someone with me, but it may not work out that way. So.. I'll have to deal with it!

Each day I see so much devastation, not to just the homes, but to the residents of Minot,  to their very soul. I  know I will never forget the anguish  I have seen on some of their faces.  Knowing there isn't anything I can do but just say "I am so sorry for you".  To see these lovely older homes destroyed, the homes that made it through the 1969 Flood with everyone bragging, "Hey my house made it through the '69 Flood," and  telling anyone that will listen,"Houses like ours just aren't made like this any more". Well, I am sad to say that the Flood of 2011 has claimed  many of these wonderful homes, and they will NEVER be the same.  My 101 year old house included, as I can ONLY imagine what I have yet  to face!! There is a home on 4th Ave that I have always loved. I love the shape of the house, it's so classic,. Then, a few years ago the owners painted it.  It truly is just beautiful, the lawn is gorgeous. It's my favorite house on the whole street!! The basement of this house has collapsed, the city has deemed it unsafe to enter. It broke my heart for the owners!!  How do we put a value on memories? We can't!!

So, please don't tell me that life will go on. I realize that life will definitely go on,  because it has to. But, it's like a death, and I am grieving right now. It's my right to do so, it's my right to cry, It's EVEN my right to be mad as hell, after all I am only human!!

There's a song by Miranda Lambert, that I sing in my band DREAMER. It's called "The House That Built Me". I always thought of my parents house in Mississippi  as the house that built ME . But I know that the house that has been destroyed, is "The House that Built my daughters". There is NO value that can be placed on this!! So please allow people to grieve right now, we HAVE to do this. Please keep your well meant comments to yourself, or at least think before you speak.  After all, we have had a terrible loss and eventually we will pick up the pieces.

Thank you for reading and allowing me to get on my soap box.  Until next time!! Minot stay strong!!

As Always~

Trish

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Our Adventure into the Neighborhood ~

I was going to post last night after I tried to get into my neighborhood. I was emotionally exhausted, I took several Tylenol pm and finally went to sleep for several hours!! I just couldn't face even writing about what I saw last night!! The sleep that I was able to get  was ruined by the nightmares that I had. And I am afraid this will only get worse as time goes on. Okay, here goes..

I will start with , yesterday I got off from work and had to go to the FEMA office and SBA office. One thing that strikes me, is, I hear people talking all the time about how rude these guys are . I HAVEN"T experienced this at ALL. I have had nothing but GOOD things to say about all the folks I have worked with. Brian at SBA was a very talkative guy, I learned quite a bit about him and his ranch in WY. Kitty  in Mitigation is from Plymouth, MA and she loves wine, she and I had a good cry together, when she was warning me exactly what I would be seeing at my house and preparing me for how bad it is going to be. I felt like we were old friends when our appointment was over. Dan was a sweet heart, and Gary was too! So.. while this is a horrible experience, these guys have done their best to make me feel a "little better"!! I learned that since there are no hotel rooms in Minot, these guys are driving every morning and night to Bismarck to stay at hotels! That makes each day about 15-16 hours long  with the commute.

I purchased my rubber boots and I was very surprised when I found my self in traffic, (just trying to go through the Kmart parking lot  as a short cut) and there they were, they opened my door and said "how many do you need"? I asked " How many what"? They said, "we have a clean up kit for you, how many do you need"? Wow.. I was just trying to take a short cut! They threw all of this stuff in my car and shut the door. I wasn't sure exactly what I had been given.. until I got home. I was very thankful to The Red Cross for this clean up kit!!  It has stuff in it I would never have thought of! I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would ever have the need for The Red Cross! What a great organization.. I will remember this when it's time to donate money in the future, and I highly encourage everyone to make a donation to your local chapter!! You never know when a disaster will hit your area!! Think about it!!

So, with a clean up kit in my car Amy and I set off to see how close we can get to my house, our first bet was go North Hill and then back track to 8th  Street and see if we can get over the 6th Street bridge. That bridge is open and we thought okay.. we will be two blocks from my house WRONG...  We were right beside The Dakota Rose Bed and Breakfast, a place that Amy and I know well. Erika had her 9th Birthday party here, with a formal tea with her friends, it was a way for young ladies to dress up and learn proper etiquette, while at the same time enjoying themselves. Erika loved every moment and felt like a "grown up". Amy on the other hand, had the most wonderful day of her life here.  Amy and Lee had a lovely outdoor wedding at this location.  By the way, since Amy (my 25 year old daughter) was about ten years old, she had always told me, "One day mommy, I will get married right there". And she did!!  For my friends out of state, to catch you up,The Dakota Rose B&B  is a beautiful Victorian  mansion, with beautiful breath taking grounds. Yesterday, we saw the exact location on the property where Amy and Lee took their vows, and  my sweet Amy fell completely apart!! As I just stated, Amy has loved this place since she was a little girl!! It's only two blocks from our house, and Amy would beg me to drive by so she could see it!! What great memories for the two of us!! But, last night we stood on that bridge and cried together remembering her beautiful day and knowing that it will NEVER be the same again!! My "little girl" is heart was broken and the anguish on her beautiful face will be a permanent memory in my mind as long as I live.

After a good cry, we pulled ourselves together, and realized obviously, we couldn't get through due to the amount of water in this low area, I received a phone call from my neighbor Donna and we discussed what route I could possibly take.  Amy and I battled the traffic and headed back onto Broadway , cut down on 2nd Ave and parked at the Library. Put our protective gear on, grabbed a couple of bottles of water, my camera, my phone, and a shovel and headed out over the train tracks and into the neighborhood!  We were able to get on 4th  Street and felt like we had hit pay dirt!! But what we saw was beyond anything I have ever imagined. Water is every where, the smell was far worse than I had smelled in other areas, this water isn't moving at all. The smell almost took my breath away, and this morning I can still smell that nasty, disgusting river water, this is a smell that I won't easily forget. We were extremely shocked to say the least.  I saw millions (not exaggerating)  of white long worms, clusters of these nasty things, we couldn't take one step without stepping on them.  There were minnows swimming, and  Amy saw a crawdad. There are also huge white (I think) maggots in the water.. not sure exactly what they are, but nauseating to put it mildly. I felt like I could throw up at any moment, I have never seen anything like this before.   We made our way around houses and through the 4th Street area, in this nasty water noticing exactly where the huge dike had been breached. It is very obvious that this dike was never large enough to handle this amount of water and after it was built, the city had not added any more to it to help our area.. More on this later.  I am not done with this topic YET!! 

Steamrolling ahead, We were able to get within about  80 to 100 yards from my house, again too much water, we weren't going in any further if it came to the edge of my knee high boots. I was able to see that the water has obviously receded  OFF the main floor of my house and the house of my neighbors, Dan and Cindy Griffith! As best as I could tell, it appears that we had maybe seven to nine feet of water on our main levels. Dan and Cindy have some Spruce trees next to their living room windows and the water was up half way on those trees. You can see that because the trees are dead, brown from being under so much water. I was worried that my 101 year old house was off the foundation, it appears that it isn't, but again, I only saw a small area. There is debris  every where, I found my trash can on 4th Street. There was a bicycle in a tree.  Windows are broken out of houses, MOLD is everywhere!! This was a very strong dangerous flood, and with all of the mold, we will have to be VERY careful with the way we handle things upon entering my property and house.

Amy and I were able to find the sidewalks around all of these areas, where the water wasn't as deep. But we soon realized that we can only go in so far. After me saying a few choice words, we agreed it was time to get out of there, it just wasn't safe any more.  We were bummed out that we were so close but yet so far, but we were also elated that we got as close as we did!!  As we are walking across the RR tracks,  we see what appears to be two police officers on four wheelers coming right to us. Amy said, "Mom we're going to jail".   I advised her that the city made a statement that You can not drive through water to get to your property. They DID NOT say.. you couldn't walk into the area. I have to admit though.. I thought we might be arrested and I didn't relish the thought of having handcuffs on.  These guys (Albert and Juan, yes, I got their names and they were very good looking too, I might add)  were border patrol officers from  the US/Canadian border  and were just helping out!! They asked what we were doing, they saw my shovel and wanted to know if we were working down there, I told them "no, I just wanted to see my house and that I was desperate to know something/anything about my property".  They understood, but were concerned for our safety. I almost talked them into taking us back in on the four wheelers.. but they were afraid they would get in trouble,  I definitely didn't want that. They said that they would try to get over to my street on their four wheelers and take some pictures for me. They took my camera and off they went. What great guys!! After a little while, they came back and said that they couldn't get through and that they were worried about sink holes, (a big hole in the street that just appears and all of a sudden you're in it and YOU disappear, very dangerous). I was glad they were safe, but sad that they couldn't get to my street!! We shook hands and they left without arresting us. We could see the headlines of the  Minot Daily News the next day.. "Mother and Daughter Arrested  for Going Into Unauthorized Flood Zone". We decided we had an adventure but it was time to go home. On the drive to Surrey, we must have seen four or five police cars with lights flashing. Amy was certain that they were looking for us!  I had to smile at that one.

Thanks for reading this far.. but one point that I want to make is the dike on 4th Street, remember, I said I wasn't finished with this topic. We took pictures of this thing before the flood, it was very large. But when the city knew we were NOT okay and that there was going to be far more water than we ever expected,  NOTHING was  added to this dike. I know that secondary dikes were built and the city worked 24 hours a day (my son in law was one of these guys working 12 hour days on the dikes) building these dikes up. BUT 4th Street was not touched. 4th Ave was .. but not 4th Street. Basically,  I feel like our homes were sacrificed. Seeing the dike and where it was breached, was a punch in the gut last night. I forgot to take pictures of this, I wish I had remembered, maybe later today I can get some shots and then compare the before and after. It was shocking.

  Well, I know this is long, if you read the whole thing, thank you. As my friend said in a phone call this morning, Facebook just doesn't have enough space for you to say everything you need to say. LOL ~ But, I wanted to try to explain what I saw and how this effected me and Amy. I am looking forward to getting into my house, getting the rest of my things out and then dealing with the after math of this horrible situation. It's going to be  A LOT of work, but, I am tired of sitting here  just waiting, my patience has worn out!!  My sister Lynn (from Atlanta) is coming up in two weeks to help me. It will be nice to have the support of my family right now. The final shoe has dropped, now it's time to pick it up, dust it off and try to get back to normal.. what ever the definition of normal means.

Minot friends stay strong.. we are North Dakotans we're tough!! Until next time!!  Thanks again for taking the time to read!

As Always~


Trish

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Facing The Destruction ~

It's me once again.. you know I must be really needing therapy when it's only been two days since my last post! A lot has happened in two days. I have to say, that I have never faced anything like this in my life. Have I said this before.. if I have, just bear with me. All these emotions rolled up into one, the anger, the disbelief, the sadness, the uncertainty, feeling frightened, confused,  vulnerable, irritated, and last but not least, feeling lost and defeated at times.

Wow, that's a lot to feel, even I didn't realize all of this, until I typed it.  Looking back at those words, the anger that this didn't have to happen, that "someone" dropped the ball on Minot, North Dakota. The disbelief that this could happen to the wonderful people in our beautiful little town and the sadness when I realized, yes, this really happened., this isn't a bad dream, this is a living nightmare. I am so tired of feeling these things, I have always been pretty self confident,  well.. let me tell you, when you have been humbled and brought to your knees, you wonder, where did that self confidence go?  I am finally in the irritated stage of this process.. no I am beyond irritated.. more on this in a minute.  I decided today I will not be lost and I damn sure will not be defeated. After all, my friends in Mississippi call me a Steel Magnolia, and Jerry Pitts (my dad) didn't raise me to lay down and give up. My sister Lynn was kind enough to remind me of this, (in not such nice terms this morning) when I really needed a swift  kick in the butt!!  Thanks sissy, "I love you ..always have, always will".  :)

I just want to say, if you don't mind me rambling.. (whoever is reading, bless your heart), sorry.. STEAMROLLER~  that some people love to kick you when you're down.. I found this out last night. This person will remain nameless, because he is simply not worth mentioning in MY blog.  I tolerate this idiot  only because I have to, at least for another three years, and then he has a one way ticket out of my life forever.  I have learned over that last ten years that some people love to make a profit off of your heartbreak. There are those horrible people that enjoy when another person is in pain and having a difficult time, I call that evil, but in plain truth, they are just very unhappy individuals that take pleasure when someone else is hurting.. I know.. sad .. right?  But as my grandmother used to say, "what goes around, comes around", and eventually, he will have burned many bridges that can not be mended!! And I will not pity him in the least!! So the moral of this paragraph is.. Trish needed to vent and second, it will all work out in the long run, I am so over this part.. thanks for sticking with me.. so far!!

Tonight,  I went to a meeting for Zone 4, I wasn't really sure what I was going to hear or see. I think I wasted my time, because all I got was chest pains and my blood pressure was shooting straight up. I found out that if my house is demolished by the city of Minot, because they have to build dikes, or levees, or because my house simply is destroyed by the water and can not be repaired... I HAVE TO PAY TO HAVE IT DEMOLISHED!!!  Hmmm.. whats wrong with this? The city didn't build the levees and the dikes up enough during those two weeks before all hell broke loose and now I will have to pay for it myself.  I will tell you this.. that is not gonna happen with this girl!! That house can stay right there and eventually fall over by it's self before I pay to tear it down. I may have a mandatory demolition, but I have to pay for it? Is this right? Our wonderful alderman couldn't give us any straight answers tonight, I finally yelled out what was in my last blog.. "we need simple answers".. yes.. Trish yelled!!  It kind of felt good to yell, I have to say ~ LOL~  I feel that the ONLY guy that was truthful tonight , was the FEMA director.. yea.. I know.. go figure.. but I have to say, he actually did not sugar coat anything. Give me this guy any time over our local officials. I am so tired of hearing the same political BS over and over. Remember in my second paragraph I spoke of irritation.. here was just a speck of my irritation tonight.. Where was Minot's Mayor tonight?  He never showed his face at this meeting. Thank you for that "Mr. Mayor", I sincerely appreciate your concern for your citizens of Zone 4. I WILL remember this come election time.  Dozens of folks were walking out of this meeting tonight. I was one of them.

I was able to get over to Maple Street tonight and see some of my old neighborhood. I could only go so far due to water still being in the area. I did drive through some water only after I saw a car drive through. I stopped the guy and he assured me that my car would be okay going through it and it was!! While I was still several blocks from my house, what I saw was devastating to say the least.  Houses looked like they were in a black and white movie. A cream colored house on 2nd Ave and the yard were the same color. You could tell  that the picture I took and posted on Face Book, wasn't black and white when you see the orange tag that was placed on the door by the National Guard, showing that the house had been checked and no one was still at home during the  emergency evacuation.  All I can say is, this was not my house or my property, but I cried as if it were!! My heart was breaking for these home owners.  Windows were broken, houses were covered in mud . You could see just how high the water levels were due to the huge water ring on the structure of the homes. Even the trees had markings of how high the levels were.  The green grass is now brown, entire flower beds are just gone, simply washed away. There was debris  every where. It looked like "the day after" or what you would imagine the "day after " would look like. 

So, tomorrow, when I get off work at noon, I have a  bit of shopping to do. I have to purchase some wading boots,  and some masks. I am going to try to get in my own neighborhood, via a huge truck. I don't care if there is "some" water still in the street or on my lawn. If I can get these guys to take me in, We're GOING IN!!  It's time for me to "face the destruction". I am sure that after Friday July 15, 2011, Trish Pitts will never look at life quite the same as before. That's okay, because this flood has a way of changing a person.. either for the better or maybe even the worse, only time will tell!

Minot friends, stay strong, we're all in this thing together!! Thank you for reading, I know.. it was long if you made it through)!!  Take care and good night for now!

As Always~

Trish

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

~ Simple, Truthful Answers Are Required ~

As I write this, I am still in bed. It is now 2:29 pm on Tuesday. I should be at work, but, I  wasn't feeling very well today, just like yesterday and the day before that.  I was able to talk with a very good friend last night first via text, then Face Book and finally Skype. Hearing his voice and seeing his face for the first time in several months was definitely a huge help to me. This is probably the only person in my life that has always been able to calm me not matter what or how bad the situation is/was. He still has that effect on me. Just by saying "Okay Trish.. talk to me, REALLY talk to me"... Nine times out of ten I can pour it all out, which was certainly the case last night!! Thank you.. I love you, you know who you are, I don't have to give names!

The stress that this flood has caused me and so many others is astronomical, there is no way, and no words  for me to accurately describe exactly how I feel about this situation. Again, it's not just about me, remember, there are 11,000 people in this same situation. I will tell you that tempers are starting to flare and peoples patience are slowly but surely running out! Mine included.

We are in DAY 23 of this flood. It has been 26 days since I have slept more than two hours per night.  I have been having chest pains, stomach issues, throwing up (I know that my ulcer is back and is protesting like crazy), lack of sleep, I am positive that my blood pressure is high. I am unable to concentrate on anything or on long conversations for extended periods of time.. my bosses have seen this for sure.. (great guys that they are, they tease me that I am just having a blond moment)!  I thought that I may be a little depressed.. ya think? But today, I found out that what I have, is called Emotional Fatigue/Exhaustion! Look it up on google.. I did. It's not pretty, but neither is this damn flood!! But at least I know, that I am not losing my mind, or going completely nuts, that there is indeed a reason for these symptoms! It's almost like a war, people see things that they probably shouldn't have/need to see, or should have to deal with, the effects of this flood will remain long after this situation is over and will be molded into all of our minds for years to come.   

The Flood of 2011 is Minot's war zone right now, we are fighting the battle of the Mouse River. To have such a simple name, this river has had an evil , raging force behind it. Minot and other areas watched intently as those river levels exceeded far above anything we thought was possible. It was like it (the river) had a mind of it's own. And for a while we thought we would be okay, little did we know, the hell we were all about to experience. Nothing can prepare you for this kind of devastation. 

Then, there's the.. please excuse this, "the cat and mouse game"  where we simply sit and wait to see what happens next. Again, as stated in others posts, the waiting is horrific!! Not knowing what we will have to face is complete torture. My "zone" is having a meeting Thursday night ,  I will be there. I am hoping that some of our city officials, will show the residents the respect that we deserve and come to this meeting.  I am also hoping that the Press will be there!!  We have questions and we want them answered, we're not asking for much, JUST SIMPLE, TRUTHFUL ANSWERS ARE REQUIRED!! Many neighborhoods are organizing these types of meetings and most neighborhoods are DEMANDING more information. I think it's time and it's our right to stand up and demand answers! This is OUR beautiful All American town and OUR homes and  we're not going to allow a river to claim our lives or destroy us, after all we ARE North Dakotans, there are no other people like us!! If we can handle -40 degrees in the winter, we can handle the Mouse. It's not going to be easy, but hey we're all going through Hell right now any way, we just have to continue the battle.  Again, JUST SIMPLE, TRUTHFUL ANSWERS ARE REQUIRED!!,

In closing, I don't proclaim to be an eloquent writer, just a girl needing to write for therapy. But, I do want to say to Minot and the surrounding areas, please try to stay strong, when you feel like you can't go on one more minute.. write a blog.. it helps, I promise!! Until the next time when I fall apart, thanks for reading!!

As Always~

Trish

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Just Another Sunday

Well.. I find myself writing more every week. I am not sure if this is good or bad. I used to love to be home on a Sunday. Sunday's were always a time for family and relaxing, preparing a good meal for my child or friends that came over, going for a drive in the country and then maybe a DQ treat to end the day. Erika and I always enjoy "chasing the perfect sunset"! Sunday's were the best!!

Now.. for the last couple of weeks, I find myself NEEDING to get out of town and getting away from  everything and some times everybody!!  I am so worried that we will never get these times back. Life as we have known it is gone. I see and hear the frustration in peoples post on Face Book and  even in public places.  I feel myself getting more frustrated every day, I have gone from being upset, crying to being seriously pissed off!! A complete roller coaster of emotions. So.. I leave town, sometimes I can put it out of my head and think about where I am going and what I am seeing .. but then it all comes back. 

I went on a road trip with a friend yesterday.. talking to her  was a huge help.. we discussed everything under the sun.. from men, to our houses (both flooded).. we discussed our children and then men again.. (smiling) and agreed that men are more complicated than the flood!! (Okay just joking)!!
I can see the fear in her eyes, and I am sure that she could see fear in mine.  The not knowing what we will see and what we will eventually have to face the first time we see our homes, is eating at both of us! The uncertainty.. has caused us both more stress than we would like to admit!!   The stress is simply etched into every ones face!! We all can look at one another and pretty much know.. "yep, you're displaced as well".. and agree that it completely sucks!!

For all the residents affected in Minot, talk about how you feel, or simply write a blog. I can honestly say, that this has helped me. Though, I am not a person to keep much in, talking to friends and family,has definitely helped. There are a handful of friends that have been there for me during this entire time. Calling me at 2 am when they see me on Face Book, or sending me a text at 7 am to let me know they are thinking of me!!  You have no idea how much this has meant to me!

I used to take my house for granted..  yep.. it was my private space and at the end of the day, I always had a place to go and could shut myself away from the rest of the world!! Now.. I just want a home.. to call my own again, to be able to go to and be alone or even share with someone!!  Not sure that this will happen any time soon. Please don't get me wrong, I have a place to go to, my daughter and son in law have been amazing during this entire ordeal. I will never be able to express to them how much I appreciate this.

Like the little girl said in the video that I posted to FB, "I want to go home", from my sweet friend Sharon that has lost so much, She said to me the other day, "I want my pillow and my blanket and my bed". This broke my heart, this woman is not a whiner she is the strongest person I know. But this flood has brought all of us to our knees and we're all suffering!!

One point I want to make is this,  a friend just called me and said that he heard that two men were arrested when they tried to drive through some water to see about their homes. I understand the laws, the rules.. and that this is a potential dangerous situation if there are live wires in the water. I know that this is for the  protection of the residents of Minot. HOWEVER.. with that being said.. I also know that folks are getting desperate to see their property.. I know I have personally wanted to hire a boat and have someone take me to my house and then worry about the penalty later. These are our homes.. we need to know something and soon!!  Take people in to the neighborhoods on boats  so that we can  see what we will have to face soon, for God's sake!! It's been almost three weeks, every neighborhood has been filmed over and over again except for my area.  It's time the city shows us what we need to deal with!!

This is not a Sunday that I want to remember, this is far from being a fun or relaxing day for me.. it's just another Sunday, one more day of worrying and another night of not sleeping!! Thanks for reading!! I know it's not pleasant hearing me bitching all the time. I am sorry, but right now.. this is all I can do!!

As Always ~

Trish

Friday, July 8, 2011

Trish is on a Soap Box!!

I am so discouraged with our city. Our beautiful little town has become a  dirty infested body of water that has bugs, worms and other bacteria growing, and it's only going to get worse. I have seen this myself, and it's not a very pretty sight.

 I am about to get on my soap box.. if this offends you, please stop reading now. But to be perfectly blunt, this is my blog.. so I really don't care if this pisses anyone off or not.  I have a few things to say tonight .. I am not the most eloquent writer..  or the smartest person in Minot but I do have common sense.. so bear with me.  I was not able to see the press conference that was held at the Minot City Hall tonight at 5pm. But I was able to read some of the notes and what I read really disturbed me greatly. You know, that is putting it mildly. I am furious!! The following is a direct quote from those notes.

Before the city can buy out properties, it must develop a plan to determine where it wants green ways to mitigate future flooding and whether it wants to take unsalvagable houses off people's hands so properties can be re-developed. The city is not forging ahead with a plan because there is NO money.

According to the Federal Emergency Management Agency, 2,400 of the 4,100 damaged homes have at least six feet of water in them and 805 houses have at least 10 feet of water. Questions have been raised about the feasibility of repairing some of these homes. If a buyout program materializes, it probably is a year to 1-1/2 years away, the committee concluded. Committee member ----- said a buyout program is the hope, but it's only a hope.

My response to these comments :  This is so wrong. Where is the money, city state, federal.. what the hell!? Maybe if our Federal Government would not bail every country out of  their own problems,  we would have enough money to take care of our US citizens!!  Maybe.. just maybe if our own city government had ordered those dikes to be built up more and higher, Maybe.. I  wouldn't be homeless right now!! People are blaming the Canadians for all of our problems.. but we need to look right here in Minot too. I understand that our mayor has never had to deal with a disaster of this nature , but he sure wasn't up front on a lot of things and we should have had more time to get our personal belongings out of our houses!! He didn't want to deliver bad news.. he  waited until 4 pm on Monday to tell us we had to be out of our house by 10 pm on Wednesday night. Then it became 6 pm and finally at 12:57 pm those emergency sirens sounded. It was like  someone punched  you in the gut!!  I don't think this was handled properly, I think that a bunch of people dropped the ball on this whole situation. And now over 11,000 people are displaced.  Shame on you Mr. Mayor.. you won't be receiving this vote if you ever run for office again.

My friend asked me tonight on Face Book.. "where are we all going to go, what are we all going to do"?  I have to say.. I don't know, I have a child to think about next month when she comes home from Mississippi. Housing was already hard to find in Minot, now.. it's impossible to find. This town is going to lose a lot of residents, it's just bound to happen.  This town may lose me and my daughter as well. I love North Dakota don't get me wrong.. but I have to do what I think is right, and I might be forced to leave.  This will just be another heart break to endure. My God.. when does it end? How much more do we all have to take.. I'll be sure to ask this same question again when I finally get to see my house for the first time.

I have been so upset about this tragic situation.. again  there are 11,000 other folks feeling the same as I do, I am sure. I  see people crying out in public and you automatically know why. I was in WalMart purchasing something two days ago and I am paying the cashier. My sister Paula calls, and I fell apart right there in front of everyone. I was so embarrassed.. but this cashier told me.. "it's okay.. you're not the first one"..  Emotions are running high across this city and the town of Burlington as well. I visited with a very good friend  today, he name is Sharon. She and her husband not only lost their home, they lost their cabin at Mouse River Park too. My heart goes out to them,  she asked, " what did she do to deserve this" !! I said, " none of us deserve this".. and we don't!!!

So , I stopped crying tonight.. I am not saying that it won't start again tomorrow. But for tonight, after reading the notes  from this press conference, I would say that we are ALL screwed!! And I am really pissed off  but, it feels good to be angry!!   Thanks for reading and allowing me to vent. Again, this is just my opinion on this.. regardless if it's wrong or right.. it's MY voice!! My therapy!!

As Always~

Trish

Monday, July 4, 2011

Reality sets in!

Saturday I was able to go down to Bismarck and spend some time with  my really good friends Bob and Susan! I have known Susan for maybe 15 years or so. I truly love this beautiful woman!! I am very lucky to have her as my friend! I asked her where the nearest car wash was, since people in Minot don't have any car washes open due to the conservation of water. My car was filthy, it's never been that dirty, but it wasn't on my high priority list. Bob took my car and cleaned the whole thing up! It looked great!! I appreciated it so much!! He said he wanted to do something nice for me since I had been through so much!! How sweet!! these guys are great friends, we had a few cocktails, and some great food on the grill, it was a wonderful night and a much needed break from Minot and this horrible flood.

Sunday, Amy and I took off for a mother/daughter get away. We drove down to The Black Hills just for the day and spent the night in Spearfish. We had a great time, just driving around taking pictures, we  traveled through Spearfish Canyon, this is my all time favorite place!!  It's just beautiful down there and so calming, JUST WHAT I NEEDED. We took our shoes off and waded through a creek bed . It was so cold and  refreshing, the water was clean, clear and beautiful!! Amy had a blast!! We then drove on to Crazy Horse, and stopped in Hill City and Keystone. We ended our trip in Deadwood, I had a great phone conversation with a good friend on the way out of Deadwood. I was so happy that he called!! We drove back to Spearfish and arrived around midnight!! What a great time!!

This morning, I realized that the three hours of sleep that I had last night was the best sleep I have had in two weeks!!  We got dressed and started home. As we  left Spearfish this morning, I realized something.. if Amy would have had a way back to Minot, I would not have come back!!  I just couldn't stand the thought of coming back to this disaster!! I have always enjoyed coming back home after even a short trip, so these thoughts were very upsetting to me. I  once again, realized that I don't have a home to come back to!!! Reality definitely set in!!

We drove into town, and as I do every day, I drove over to 6th Street. I have to see for myself each day how much  the water has receded!! I can tell that it's not as high as it was. BUT.. we are still under a LOT of water in my neighborhood!! I saw on TV that the city is allowing some people in zones three and four to go back to their houses IF there is NO water on their lawns. While on Face Book a few moments ago, I saw a friend had been tagged in a picture from another friend. The picture was of a house that had  been flooded with maybe four feet of water on their main floor. The damage it did to this house was incredible. I can only imagine what my house is going to look like!! My house is in Zone Four.. but it MAY be weeks before I am even allowed in the neighborhood!!   Reality has definitely set in!!!

Having a nice day away from all the problems was great.. but you can't run from reality. The problems are still here. I am still homeless, I am still worried sick about what will happen, I still wonder where we will go and what we will do!! I can't run from it, I can't ignore it!!  So.. I will keep on doing what I am doing.. taking one day, one hour or one minute at a time.. That's all I can do!! Reality has definitely set in!! Thanks for reading !!

Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows.  ~Jennifer Yane

As Always~

Trish

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Exploring the Flooded Neighborhoods ~ 7/2/11

Yesterday, I was compelled to get as close to the river as I could.. I know.. crazy! But I just had to see for myself exactly what was happening. Getting close meant going into the neighborhoods that were not  completely flooded and taking a good look!  It amazes me that you will see a few houses with water all around and then one house or maybe two houses back, it's completely dry.

I was able to go around the 4th Ave area, the neighborhoods that I went to were still evacuated. You could tell on the streets how far the water had gotten and now, how far the water had then receded! It didn't appear to be very deep where I was, though looking on down the street I could tell that it was deeper in other areas. Regardless, it's going to take time for this water to "go away".. it's so sad to me!

The water is so dark and filthy. The smell was unbelievable, repulsive to say the least. This is what I will have to face when it's time to go back to my house. The stench is going to be overwhelming, I can 't imagine just how bad it's going to be after a few weeks of sitting there. If ever I wanted to run away from something, this is definitely it!!  I find myself not wanting to face it at all. BUT.. it's something that will have to be done. Life is too difficult sometimes. I wish I were a young girl back in rural Mississippi  again!!

This weekend is a long holiday, I am leaving town for a day or so. Thinking of stopping in to visit a good friend in Bismarck and then taking off for the Black Hills, to my favorite place, Spearfish Canyon. I think it will be nice to get away by myself for a few days and not think about this flood situation.

I hope that you all have a wonderful July 4th weekend!! Be safe!! To my Minot friends, stay strong, we will get through this eventually!!   Thanks for reading!!

As Always~

Trish

Friday, July 1, 2011

Update from Trish on The Minot Flooding ~ 7/1/2011

Well, July has now made an appearance and Minot is still battling the flood waters.  This is going to be a very long and hard battle!! Today, I was able to cross the Broadway bridge leaving North Minot heading South. Mind you, this is the first time in over a week I have been on this bridge. Something that I used to take for granted.. "just crossing the bridge"  no big deal!!  This bridge overlooks the river and is just one street from my house. The dike reaches the top of the bridge, I have never seem anything like it EVER!!  However, on the other side of that dike off of Broadway.. lies another world, a world of complete devastation!! When I crossed that bridge, it hit me like a ton of bricks, my life as I knew it will NEVER be the same!! The beautiful neighborhood where children ride their bikes, couples stroll while holding hands and laughing, a mother walking with a child in a stroller or young adults walking their dogs. Hearing the neighbors with the grandkids in the backyard  playing and splashing in the pool. The smell of a  great BBQ and the sound of music drifting through the air. Folks mowing the lawn and friends talking across the fence, sharing a funny story!!  The lilac trees blooming and the sweet perfume of those heavenly flowers!! Watching a child walking home from Dairy Queen and seeing the ice cream dripping down their hands and chins and trying not to make a mess!!  Minot is called "The Magic City".. and for years, I like everyone else has probably taken it for granted!!

I have said these words a million times over the last week.. "if only"... If only I had done this or that. If only I had moved everything out of my house, If only I had known that the damn (my favorite word lately sorry) water was going to be as deep as it was.. If only..... then,  I was told by a very close friend  last night.. "If only Trish.. you wouldn't beat yourself up"!! He was absolutely right.. I have to say.. I did all I could do and I just hope that it was enough!!  I hope that I didn't lie to my daughter Erika when I said, "All of your belongings are safe baby.. don't worry"!! Again.. the waiting is driving me nuts!! Slow torture!!

As I write this.. I keep thinking.. it's not ALL about you Trish.. there are 11,000 other people that are displaced, there are over 4000 homes just like mine.. flooded.. there will be at least 850 homes demolished due to the extreme amount of water in the house, the city and FEMA will deem the houses unsafe and uninhabitable. I am not sure how I feel about this, if the city said to me, we're gonna pay you a certain amount of money for your house, by the time the mortgage is paid.. there may only be a few thousand left.. that doesn't really give me anything does it.. except to get out from under the payment  and start over!! I don't care about the money.. I just want my home back!! I want to be able to go outside and look at my yard and enjoy my flowers. I want to feel safe and secure and at the end of the day, go upstairs and sleep in my bed!! I am not sure that I will ever feel safe again!! I have many things to "ponder"..  What do I do now? Where do I go from here?   How do I handle this or that? My answer.. I guess is.. take one day at a time.. which is hard to do. SO.. I am taking one hour at a time.. and  when that is too hard..  I'll take one minute at a time. This is the best I can do and I'll try to remember to stay focused, stay calm and BREATHE!! Great advice from a great guy!!

 So, I say again to my friends in Minot, and the surrounding areas, We're tough North Dakotans, stay strong!! And to my Mississippi friends and family, thanks for keeping me strong with your comforting words via phone calls, texts, Facebook, and now this blog!! Thanks for reading as I ramble on and on.. after all, this is Trish's Therapy!! I love you all!!

As Always~

Trish

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Update from Trish on The Minot Flooding ~ 6/28/2011

Hi Everyone!!  Hope you all are doing well!!  Well.. it certainly hasn't been boring around Minot, that's for sure!! This time last week, I was packing as fast as I could, lost the cat, (found her), moved to my daughter's house,  calmed the cat all night, found out that the evacuation time was moved from 10 pm to 6 pm and then was told that everyone would have to evacuate immediately when the sirens went off!   Those sirens sounded at 12:57 on Wednesday of last week!! Things were getting kind of crazy, people were in a panic, myself included. Then we had threats of a Tornado, and then a water concern.. the list goes on and on unfortunately!!!

 I can honestly say if there is a hell on earth, Minot residents have surely experienced it in the last week!! They say things that don't kill you will make you stronger.. then Minot  is probably the strongest and the best town that I know!!! I am proud to call North Dakota my home!! I have heard some pretty amazing stories and I have been able to be a small part of a couple of these stories!! I have seen total strangers come up to people and give them a hug when they were having a melt down. Amy and I were struggling to put somethings in her truck on Tuesday, it was raining and nasty outside. My neighbors family came over and helped us, and then moved my entertainment center into the loft of my garage. This was not a simple task!! Their names were Chris, Brent, and Bill!!  Not sure of their last names. But I will forever remember their first names!! 

I have been unable to work since last Monday. The guys I work for called me yesterday and asked me if I wanted to work today!! I was definitely ready to go back to work.. I NEED to feel NORMAL again!! I had heard that it was taking a very long time to get around the city via the bypass. Amy and I experienced this yesterday, so I made sure that I left two hours prior to being at work. I left at 6:57 am and by the time I reached our temporary offices, it was exactly 10 am. THREE hours!! Thank goodness I took a bottle of water and a granola bar with me!!  I work for two INCREDIBLE guys and was told "Trish, don't worry about it, get here when you can, it's out of your hands"!! As I said, we are in temporary offices.. today, Jarrod had errands to run for us, so I was left to organize the clutter!! Something that I love to do, especially when I am upset!!  By the time Jarrod returned, I had met the neighbors next door to our office. I met the President and VP of the bank, (where our offices are located) and I met these beautiful girls that have a salon down the hall from us!! All of these folks stopped by to just say "Welcome and is there anything we can do for you"?  One lady stood and talked to me for a very long time, she also lost her home, and there we were, consoling each other!! She gave me her home phone number and told me if I needed to talk.. just to call, she would be there for me!! I JUST MET HER!!!  What a wonderful person!! This is just part of what I was talking about.. The people in ND are strong and kind people and we WILL survive this HELL that we have ALL been going through!!  MAYBE this is WHY I stay here!! Sure.. we have winter 6-8 months out of the year.. but the people are compassionate and caring folks!!  That means a LOT!!

I have lost my home, I haven't lost my spirit YET!!!  I am really hoping that I haven't lost everything upstairs on the second floor and in the loft of my garage!! BUT.. I am pretty sure that some things in the loft are destroyed.. not sure about the house!!  I CAN ONLY HOPE/PRAY!!!  Not sure where Erika and I will live, or what we are going to do!! If you know me well.. you have to know that I am a very impatient, hyper active person..(you think?) lol~  I HATE not knowing what is going to happen, or to NOT have a plan!!  I like structure..  organization.. I HAVE to have a plan!!  Right now.. I am just living hour by hour!! Maybe this will FORCE me to have the patience that I have always lacked.. (trying to think a little positive here) and then again.. maybe not!!

Again, writing this on Facebook and now my blog is MY therapy!! I know I probably say way too much and give way too much of myself on this network!!  But.. right now.. that's okay!!  Everybody needs an outlet and this is mine!!  I haven't been able to see a close up picture or video of my house yet.. just footage from the air. But I have seen my friends houses and what this evil, maddening, horrible flood has done to their beautiful homes!!  It breaks my heart for them!! My friends Dave and Gail have water up to the eaves of their house!! Their attitude was.. "Hey.. after this is over we're having a party and Dreamer is gonna play and you have to sing "Suds in the Bucket" !!  I told them that it was a deal!!  I saw my friend Troy at the Cenex station yesterday, he came over and hugged me tight and was worried about me and, how was I doing? He and Paula just moved into their brand new beautiful home just a few months ago! My neighbors Dan and Cindy, always there to help me and look after me.. and they are in the same situation as I am in!! The list goes on and on!!

 I am upset, hurt, angry, numb, in a fog, you name it.. I feel it, BUT I will NOT allow this damn flood to consume me, after all, I'm not just a Mississippian.. I am a true North Dakotan and PROUD of it!! For my friends here in the Magic City and Bismarck.. stay strong! Let me know if there is anything I can do for YOU!!   A person that I love deeply said to me one day in November, Remember to stay calm, stay focused and BREATHE!! That's all I can do now!! His words echo every time I am having a really bad day!! Thank you for that!!
Thanks for reading!!  I love you all!!
 As Always ~
Trish